Tips to Tackle Stress

Posted on May 30, 2015 by tcadmin

The countdown to the end of the school year has begun. With students only theoretically connected to their chairs and final marking period deadlines looming, teachers and students alike are bound to be feeling stressed.

Here are some stress-preventing tips you can share with your students in these final weeks:

Stretch Out Stress: You could probably use a break from standing and the students might love a chance to be out of their seats and still be following directions. Stretching releases endorphins, the body’s natural stress reliever.

Color Me Relaxed: Coloring books for adults are the latest craze in stress-busters. When is the last time you picked up a set of new, sharp markers and just colored?

Tune Out: Did you know that singing increases the flow of oxygen to your brain and lowers blood pressure? Can’t carry a tune? Don’t worry, humming one note or sound has many of the same benefits. How about a round of ‘name that tune’ next time you have a few minutes before the bell?

Stay Connected: While the students may not have any trouble chatting with their friends, you may have let your relationships take a back burner to work. A quick text, email or call to a friend can remind you that you’re not in this alone.

When in Doubt, Write it Out: Whether it’s stream of consciousness, doodling, poetry or daydreaming about your perfect summer vacation, journaling can help you disconnect from the stress of the day for a few minutes. Spelling and grammar don’t need to count when the journal is for your eyes only!

ROFL: There’s a reason it’s called the best medicine. Laughter releases endorphins, increases the flow of blood to the heart and increases the immune system. If your classroom is internet-ready, why not check out a doggy day care web cam for some quick laughs, because puppies.

Above all, attention to sleep, water and healthy food will help protect you from the end of the year demands so you can finish the year with enough energy to enjoy your well-earned break.

Surviving or Thriving?

Posted on May 23, 2015 by tcadmin

I did not inherit my mother’s natural talent for gardening. Even the silk plants in my care have shriveled and lost leaves. So it was with some doubt that I approached my goal of starting a small indoor garden this spring. I thought I would start with an aloe plant from a clipping a friend gave me. They seemed hearty enough to survive my black thumb. I potted a couple in small pots and set them on the coffee table. After a month or so, I noticed that the plants had not grown at all. In fact, the leaves, though still plump, were drooping and turning a little brown. The plant was surviving, it was alive, but no one looking at it would say it was a thriving plant.

Many of us find ourselves in a similar position in our work and lives. We get up every day, we do what we are ‘supposed to do’, we might even do it fairly well. When asked, we say we are ‘fine’, or ‘can’t complain’, then we get up the next day and do it all over again. We are surviving, but are we thriving? To thrive is to ‘grow and to flourish vigorously’. Thriving entails a sense of passion for what we are doing, a joy that is present in our interactions with others and a sense of wonder and curiosity for our experiences. It requires stepping outside of our comfort zones, being OK with uncertainty and purposefully attending to what is positive.

In her research on what keeps teachers in the profession, Sonia Nieto found that thriving teachers are those who make genuine connections with their colleagues, students and families; who are focused on the present and on the positive and those who feel compelled to give back to their school communities. Environments that encourage collaboration, risk-taking and creativity are essential. Without these things, in environments that stress standardized teaching and hierarchical decision making, teachers burn out.

It turns out, aloe plants don’t like to live alone either. My friend told me to take them out of their pots and let the roots completely dry up in the sun. That sounded crazy, but when I repotted the two together in a new pot, with soil that was tailored to their specific needs, and placed them in a sunny spot on my porch, they began to thrive. They have grown several inches in the past few weeks and I have learned a little more about stepping back, letting things happen and taking in the sun.

It’s as Easy as Falling Off a Bike

Posted on May 15, 2015 by tcadmin

A father was describing to me how he recently taught his daughter to ride her bike. The kickstand was off and she was exploring her balance as she tentatively placed her foot on the pedal and inched forward. Without the speed needed to keep the bike upright she tipped over and hopped around a bit to stabilize herself, frustrated and fearful. Her father knew that if she could just apply a little more pressure to the pedal she would get the bike moving and would soon see what it felt like to glide smoothly down the road.

The temptation in moments like this, when we can see the answer that the person in front of us hasn’t yet had the experience to understand, is to push them forward. Likely, if he had lost his patience and told her to ‘just pedal’, she would have become more upset herself, might have given up, certainly the experience would be less pleasant for both of them. Instead, this father recognized his daughter’s fear and asked her about it, met her where she was. She described her fear of falling off, of not being able to stop, of going too fast. And he listened. And he remembered when he first learned, and when he had been afraid. He agreed that, yes, learning to ride a bike is scary and that he would be there to do what he could to help her until it wasn’t scary any longer.

My own son was not happy with my announcement that this was the day he would learn to ride. “Will I fall?” he asked. “Most certainly.” I replied. “Will I bleed?” he asked. “It is very possible that you will,” I said and showed him the BandAids I had packed in his pack. “I’ll be right back,” he announced and ran back up to his room. He emerged a few minutes later with three pairs of pants on to protect his knees and off we went to the park.

When we let go of our urge to protect and instruct children at our pace and instead, pay attention to their processes for learning, we can teach them self-confidence and the ability to tolerate their fears long enough to risk mistakes and failure. I am happy to report that both of these children are happy riders now and both parents may have learned a little something along the way.

For more tips on navigating parenthood, visit the parent classes at Teacher Coach here

To Do the Impossible Job

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A million years ago, before I became a parent, I was a parent educator. “Never mind that I had no children of my own”, I’d say, “I have taught and raised hundreds of children”. “In fact”, I’d go on to assert, “I’m probably a better parent than some who come to my classes because I’ve already tried my hand at more issues than the first-time parent is even aware of yet!!

I am now twelve years into parenting and still haven’t made all the apologies I need to make to the parents I ‘taught’ back then. Sure, my years studying child development and education pedagogy have given me a solid footing for understanding what children need and some of the ways they learn and grow best. But nothing prepared me for the lessons I could only learn by being a mother.

Nowhere in the fine print from the hospital or adoption agency, for instance, will you find instructions for how to remove Playdough from the sinus canal of a two year old. Or a bean from the ear of a 5 year old. Or how to unstick a harmonica which has been crazy glued to one’s backside (Don’t ask, no answer will satisfy you).

While it is surely the most rewarding job I have ever undertaken, being a mother may also be the most impossible one. The pay is terrible, the job description changes hourly and no matter what I accomplish, it never seems to match the expectations of my relatives, friends and neighbors. In fact every small achievement I might consider celebrating is debated by theorists and judged by other mothers also trying to find their way to perfection.

It’s beginning to sound a lot like the job of a teacher! And like most teachers, I’m not in this mothering job for the fame, wealth or power. I do it because I can’t imagine not. Because it is at the core of who I am. Because even at the end of the most hair-tearing days of complete exhaustion I know I have mattered to someone.

So to all the mothers and teachers who are mothers, this Sunday, after you’ve eaten the soggy toast and warm orange juice that might have been brought to your bed, and cleaned up the kitchen where it was made, take a moment and congratulate yourselves on a job well done. We are the doers of the impossible.

How to Succeed in Therapy

Posted on May 3, 2015 by tcadmin

Who seeks therapy?

People make the decision to come to therapy for many different reasons. Often they are experiencing significant challenges in their personal or professional lives. Others come out of a sense that something is missing from their lives and a desire for something greater. Whether the goal is to seek relief or understanding, the process of finding and choosing a therapist can be overwhelming.

Who provides therapy?

Psychiatrists, Psychologists, Therapists, Counselors, Social Workers, oh my! All those letters after a person’s name can make a person want to buy a vowel! But who does what?

A psychiatrist (MD) is a medical doctor with a specialization in the diagnosis and treatment of mental illnesses. Psychiatrists can prescribe medicine in addition to providing therapy.
A psychologist (PsyD. Or Ph.D) also has a doctoral degree. Psychologists can provide therapy and can provide psychological tests and assessments.
Social workers (MSW, LSW, LCSW) are trained in counseling but can serve many other roles as well. Their training addresses the influences around an individual’s life including housing, assistance, education, etc.
Licensed counselors (LHMC, LAC, LPC) are licensed therapists with Master’s degrees in counseling psychology.

There are other designations and certifications that denote specialties in marriage and family therapy, addictions therapy and other modalities. When using insurance to pay for therapy, it is important to verify with your provider which types of professionals they cover and what percentage.

What kind of therapy?

Choosing the type of professional is not the only decision to make. Next, you will likely be faced with decisions about the modality or psychological orientation of the provider. Simply stated, this refers to the professional’s view on how people change. There are hundreds of approaches or philosophies therapists use and combine in their work. Understanding some of the basic approaches can help you know what to expect in a session.

Gestalt Therapy is based on the theory that in order for something to change, we must first fully understand what it already is. This is a strengths-based approach to therapy that uses the client/therapist relationship as a tool to explore how he/she has come to be the way he/she is and accept him/herself before making a decision to change.
Cognitive Behavioral Therapy assumes that thoughts, behaviors and beliefs are all linked. CBT focuses on identifying a problem behavior and working to create a solution by changing negative or irrational thoughts. This is a popular choice of therapy for those who are solution-focused and prefer a more directed approach.
Psychodynamic/Psychoanalytical Therapy has in its roots the work of Sigmund Freud. Although many of his original teachings have been abandoned, this approach still focusses on unconscious motives and drives. Therapists in this orientation traditionally adapt the ‘expert’ role, guiding clients through examination of thoughts and feelings with the belief that this insight can help the client make decisions for change.
Client Centered (Rogerian) Therapy is based on the work of Carl Rogers. It is non-directive therapy, meaning that the therapist avoids providing any suggestions, treatment or direction, focusing instead on the creation of an empathetic, non-judgmental environment where the client controls the pace and content of therapy. Rogers believed this type of environment was crucial to therapy and his principles are taught as the cornerstones to most other therapeutic orientations.

Teachers can appreciate the tension between outcome-driven quick-fix approaches to therapy and longer term, sustainable change. Many educators and parents alike bemoan the fact that Socratic teaching and critical thinking skills are often overlooked in standardized education focused on test scores and memorization. The same is true for managed mental health care. When parents are directed to seek CBT for their children by their insurance carriers, pediatricians or others, without understanding how these therapies view the change process, they may be missing the chance to provide a richer, more long-lasting learning experience.

To learn more about how to make the most out of therapy, check out Dr. Scherz’s new book here

TeacherCoach

The Psychology of Teachers

Monthly Archives: May 2015