In this month’s exploration of adaptability, we’ve established that the ability to become and remain curious helps us embrace change and prepare us for new opportunities.  Curiosity has also been shown to contribute to higher academic achievement and greater work performance. It helps us create more satisfying and authentic relationships with others and can help us be better teachers, parents, and partners.

It may be hard to believe something seemingly so simple could have such an impact. But think about the early days in a romance, when everything was new and exciting, or the sense of excitement you once had with a new notebook and pencil at the start of a new school year.  Our brains are wired to seek out novel experiences and can continue to change over a lifetime.

So how do we invite more curiosity?  Seems like a funny question but think about a challenging relationship you have with someone, maybe a student you haven’t been able to reach or a family member you’ve kept your distance from over the years.  Often we trade in curiosity for the need to be right or to avoid further conflict.  As a result, closeness to those around us suffers.

Committing to curiosity requires a willingness to put aside judgement and to sometimes go without an answer in favor of finding more questions.  Here are some tips for inviting more curiosity into your life:

Look for surprises. Take a different route home from work or school.  Take a different seat on the bus or in a meeting.  Try something new off the menu.  Each small experience opens up the chance for some new discovery.

Banish boredom. Boredom is a curiosity killer.  Once we’ve given in to boredom it can be hard to find a spark again.  One woman I know took a repetitive and not very challenging part time job for extra money.  To keep herself challenged she decided that she would learn to perform every task at her position with her left (non-dominant) hand. She said it took a while at the beginning but she enjoyed trying to relearn how to open locks and turn doorknobs and soon found she was able to work more quickly and efficiently than her single hand using colleagues.

Take a vacation from having the answers. The fear of being wrong or seeming not to know something often shuts us down to new solutions.  When children or friends come to you for a solution, before rushing to respond, try answering with “I’m really not sure. Tell me what you’re thinking so far.” You’re more likely to get better solutions with more minds involved in the process.

Hop the fence in an argument. Are you stuck in gridlock with a child or a partner?  Try arguing from each other’s position.  Tell your child all the reasons it makes sense not to clean his room and invite him to convince you why a clear floor is necessary.  Hang in there past the initial giggles and you’ll have to learn a little more about how your partner sees the world.

Reserve judgment.  Judgments, even positive ones, create a roadblock to curiosity.  Once you’ve determined something is ‘bad’ or even ‘perfect’, it’s difficult to look past the decree to see things in a new light.

Maybe curiosity is how the cat got those nine lives in the first place.